She wanted to be
a college girl again
Reveling in her music
Free of the heavy weight
of unending mourning
for her dear little boy
When she finally
dried her eyes
her joy did not return
Year after year she did
what was expected of her
Hiding behind
a mask of composure
that eventually felt
almost real
Burying herself
in everyday routines
That required everything
except intimacy
When her husband died
her wounds re-opened
for a time
And still she longed for
freedom from her burden
And still it did not come
Her faith brought comfort
but not peace
Yet steadfast in her pilgrimage
she continued in her search
for answers always just beyond her reach
Until last week
When she breathed her final sigh
And was released from her pain at last
Now she laughs her schoolgirl laugh again
And dances with David

August 21, 2003

Louise Weiler Wagner (1910-2003)
and son David (1934-1940).
Photo by Homer Wagner (1903-1976)